Long ago,[i] at the very dawn of humanity, all the inhabitants of the world moved from the east to gather at a singular spot. They wished to build a great tower that would reach the very heavens. A tower we call Babel.
There were no stones in that valley, so the people forged kilns to make bricks. As the Tower grew taller and taller,[ii] bricks were hauled up to the very top of the construction site. If a brick fell, the build ers would lay down and weep: “Woe to us, when will we have another to replace it?” But, if a person fell down and died, they would step right over them and continue their work. No attention was paid to those who perished.
The Tower of Babel is a stark warning of what can occur when human life is devalued. The builders became so transfixed in their work that the people who stood next to them became insignificant, irrelevant, invisible. Each person’s humanity was reduced until they became “nothing of importance.”
Unfortunately, that’s not just ancient history,
Americans are becoming more and more separated from one another. The cause or perhaps the symptom of this
problem is loneliness. This past May,
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy[iii]
warned of the growing “epidemic of loneliness and isolation” that threatens our
personal health. Loneliness leads to greater
risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, and strokes. Most surprisingly to me, loneliness is as bad
or worse for our health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Rising levels of suicide as well as deaths
from alcohol and drug overdoses are linked to loneliness.
Our country’s social fabric is fraying, trust is shrinking, and social connection is declining. We now spend more time by ourselves than ever before; many of us socialize less than 60 minutes a day. Surveys also show that many Americans have less than three confidents or close friendships in our lives. Loneliness affects us all, but especially older adults, those with physical or mental health challenges, those with disabilities, racial and ethnic minorities, and our young people.
Our Jewish tradition has a lot to teach about loneliness. As the first human beings were created, God recognized that “It is not good for human beings to be alone.”[iv] We all need people in our lives, whether friends, family, partners, or a beloved community, who we can share our lives by way of comfort, companionship, and friendship.
Our Jewish tradition teaches the importance of being together, panim al panim, Face-to-Face. Our ancestors recognized that we create deep personal relationships when we are in each other’s physical presence. Ironically, technology and social media can make it much more difficult to be social! Those who use social media more than two hours a day had increased perceptions of social isolation. We need to put down that phone, reach out to homebound neighbors, strike up a conversation with a stranger while waiting in line, ask the cashier their name, and spend more time with family and friends in physical company.
Alas, it didn’t happen that way at Babel. Our Torah teaches[v] that all the inhabitants spoke the same language and the same words. Then, God came down and said “Look – these are all one people with one language, and this is just the beginning of their doings; now no scheme of theirs will be out of reach! Let us go down and confuse their speech so that no one understands what the other is saying.” That is why it is called Babel, for God confused their speech and scattered them all over the face of the earth.
What a
strange action by God! You would think
it would be preferable to speak the same language and same words, but not so
says our tradition. Rabba Sara Hurwitz reminds us that “conformity ‘being of
one language with one common purpose’ at first seems compelling. But the Tower of Babel shows us that
conformity leads to selfishness, to prioritizing things over people. So God
introduced us to diversity.”[vi]
God didn’t want us to walk in lockstep. God compels us to recognize the power of diversity and does this by creating many languages, dialects, and diverse communities. The Tower of Babel serves as a reminder of the threats of conformity and the fear of totalitarianism. I often wish that we all possessed the same beliefs and similar opinions. But the danger in speaking one language is the dehumanization of the other.
That’s happening more and more. Loneliness and separation are not just affecting our physical health, it’s also bubbling over in resentment, anger, and even paranoia. Americans live in their echo chambers, only hearing their own opinions. As the Surgeon General writes about loneliness, “We will continue to splinter and divide until we can no longer stand as a community or country.”[vii]
Just reflect about the ways we engage with each other on social media and out in the world. We block each other, mute each other, cancel each other, or ghost each other. Is that how we should deal with conflict? Ignore those whom we disagree with? Cancel them completely? What does that say about American society? What does that say about our own humanity?
A few weeks ago, David Brooks in The
Atlantic wrote a piece entitled “How America Got Mean.” He develops a connection between loneliness
and divisiveness to the rise in hate crimes, murder rates, and gun sales. America is becoming more violent while social
trust is plummeting. As Brooks writes, “Politics…
provides an easy way to feel a sense of purpose. You don’t have to feed the hungry or sit with
the widow to be moral; you just have to experience the right emotion. You delude yourself that you are
participating in civic life by feeling properly enraged at the other side.”[viii]
I experienced these ideas personally this past May when I attended the Maryland-Israel Development Center Annual Gala. I witnessed firsthand the deep division amongst our Jewish community.
As I arrived at the Israel Gala, a group of mostly Jewish protesters stood by a fence waving Palestinian Flags while raising up their voices against Israeli actions. As I drove past, I saw a local rabbi who I very much respect standing with the protesters. I was struck by the division. A fence divided two Jewish communities, two rabbis with two very different political perspectives on Israel.
As
the event unfolded, a small group of the protesters entered the building,
disrupted the speakers, and caused even more angst. On one side of the room, some Jews yelled,
“Free Palestine,” while across the room, other Jews yelled “Am Yisrael Chai,”
“The people of Israel live.”
I was very taken aback by the events that happened that evening. And yet, I believe in dialogue. I believe in healthy debate. I believe that no one should run away from conflict.
And
so, I called this rabbi. I was so thankful
that she agreed to meet in person. Over
the last three months we have gotten together a few times to discuss what
happened that evening and to listen to our very different opinions on the
conflict. It has
helped strengthen our relationship. I’m saddened, but not surprised when she
shared that I’m the only person who reached out to talk. Hundreds of people attended that event, but
no one else picked up the phone to talk, listen, or hear an opinion different
from their own.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m still upset at how the protest unfolded. We don’t see eye to eye on some of these issues. But, not to talk, then what? To grow farther apart? To create further stereotypes, divisions, anger, or God forbid even violence?
Jewish tradition believes firmly in the principle that: “These and these are the words of the living God.”[ix] Even when we disagree, we believe in debate, diverse opinions, questioning, and dialogue. Now, I know that this is hard, especially when one side’s views might be anathema to us. It might feel better to just scream at each other and go into an argument with guns blazing. Instead, we need to do our best to also listen, be empathetic, to learn and to teach.
You might know that my theology and personal practice follows the teachings of Martin Buber, the German Jewish theologian. Buber believes that each of us needs to do our part (whatever we can) to engage deeply with those that surround us. Buber recognizes that often we engage with those in what he calls an “I – It” relationship. We ignore the other treating them as nothing but a passerby. Buber urges us to move to “I – Thou” relationships where we see the other, engage with the other, listen to the other, and are present for each other.
Unfortunately, the builders of Babel didn’t even know each other at the most basic level. Biblical scholars notice that throughout the Babel story not one name is mentioned. No individual people are described; it’s only one mass of people. Contemporary interpreter Judy Klitsner[x] points out that the verses immediately prior and immediately following the Babel story describe dozens of individual names, including one of the sons of Noah, Shem, which in Hebrew means name! The Torah hits us over the head with the belief of how best to build a community, a country, through relationship: one person at a time, one name at a time.
That’s not easy, especially with our fraying social connections. Just a few weeks ago, Perry Bacon Junior[xi] opinion writer at the Washington Post addressed the great dechurching of America. More and more Americans, 40 million in total, used to attend church, but do not now. Mr. Bacon grew up in a charismatic church in Louisville, but because of reasons of theology, politics and values, now classifies himself as a “nothing in particular” or a “none.” I was most heartened when he ended his piece with these words, “Theologically, I’m comfortable being a none. But socially, I feel a bit lost.”
Too many in our country and in our Jewish community are clicking the “none” or “nothing in particular” box. The rise of the “nones” weakens our social fabric and lessens our social bonds. Socially, many of us also feel a bit lost.
Our Jewish tradition teaches: “that it is not good to be alone.” I pray that in this New Year, each one of us will walk away from being a “none” to become a “someone.” A someone who witnesses the humanity and the value of each person who comes across our lives. A someone who strengthens social ties with family and friends and spends more time in each other’s physical presence. A someone who sets down roots in community: whether with your synagogue, a civic group, club, or activity. A someone who engages with those whom we disagree: who listens, debates, questions, and learns.
As America grows
lonelier and more isolated, as our differing opinions divide and fracture us, more
than ever we need to walk away from being a “none” to become a “someone.” Amen.
[i]
Genesis 11:1-9 (wording adapted from “The Torah: A Modern Commentary, Revised
Edition” edited by Rabbi W. Gunther
Plaut
[ii]
Pirke D’Rabbi Eliezer, 24
[iv]
Genesis 1:18
[v] Genesis
11:6
[vi] https://ejewishphilanthropy.com/harmony-not-conformity/
[viii]
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/09/us-culture-moral-education-formation/674765/
[ix]
Babylonian Talmud, Eiruvin 13b
[x]
“The Heart of Torah, Volume 1” by Rabbi Shai Held, “People Have Names,” p. 19
[xi] https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/08/21/leaving-christianity-religion-church-community/
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